One of my favorite things to do is take pictures of my boy’s and share them with others. I had great intentions of doing baby books but it just never happened. Instead I put together a montage from one birthday to the next and I am having copies made for both of them so someday they can take them when the grow up. Here is the montage for this past year. If you want to see the prior one’s there are links on the right of my blog. Enjoy!!
One of the advantages of being a single parent is that I have had the chance to decide without compromise what holiday traditions we will practice as a family. Some of the more material traditions I have started are:
From the more spiritual side:
Then of course, there are all the Christmas movies etc. I was sitting with a group of other moms this past week and I was given a great reminder that whatever traditions I start, I should be prepared to continue since they will be all the boy’s know. In hearing that I am, sticking with these for now because simple is many times more meaningful in my world.
With the holidays here and the catalogs and commercials in full swing, I have really started contemplating how gratitude is taught. I am also taking an online class and following a blog by the author Christine Carter of “Raising Happiness” and she talks about fostering gratitude. I know from my own experiences that gratitude was hard to find sometimes in life and it wasn’t until starting on a path of emotional health that I truly understood why it is important.
Early in recovery and even now when I am stuck in negativity it is suggested to write a gratitude list at night before I go to bed. I always find that my perspective shifts after I am done. Something happens when I stop focusing on what’s wrong and start remembering what is going right. As I reflect on this, I am reminded that people modeled gratitude for me . Seeing the glass as half full does not come natural to me. I hear frequently that negativity and complaining is a habit. If that is true, gratitude and happiness can also become a habit.
I feel strongly as a parent that it is my responsibility to teach them genuine gratitude and not develop a sense of entitlement. I see so many kids today who have too much stuff, including my kids. Having their birthday and Christmas only 8 days apart contributes to that problem. As they get older I am going to encourage more gifts of experience, like Children’s Museum memberships, movie tickets, magazine subscriptions etc. This year I am putting some of the gifts away and taking them out throughout the year.
I have found a few ideas that I would like to start incorporating into our lives. First I would like to start naming three things/people we were thankful for during our day either at dinner or before bed. Second I would like to start doing bedtime prayers with them, with the focus being on thanking God for the day, for the people in our lives etc. Thirdly, I would like to start going through their toys, books and clothes before their birthday and holidays and have them be a part of passing those items onto other. Either kids younger or families in needs.
To start the process this year we gave some baby toys/items to a friend who is having twins. We also made gratitude trees. I printed some trees and leaves off the internet. Then we sat down and the boy’s named people in their lives that they are thankful for. They don’t completely understand what thankful means, so I inserted the word “love” when it got confusing. Many of their favorite people were named, but also “Woody”, “Buzz”, “Santa” and “Lucky the Elf” made the list. After making the list, I wrote names on the leaves, then we glued the leaves on the trees. I took pictures for memory sake. It was a lot of fun and a tradition I would like to continue.
Happy Thanksgiving to all of you and I am grateful you are all in my life!
One of the very exciting activities going on over here has been the construction of ”The Climbing Cube”. Mimzy being the wise woman she is, thought it would benefit the household to have a place for the boy’s to climb and play during the long winter months. If I had to guess I would say it has taken her about 1.5 months to create this all from a vision in her head. The boys are mastering it quickly and I am enjoying watching them. Thanks Mimzy, we love you!
One of the things I have counted on during the holidays is getting photo cards from family and friends. I love keeping them and looking back at how much people change over the years, especially the kids. After the boy’s were born, I learned about Shutterfly and all the promotions that they have throughout the year.
When the boy’s first birthday and Christmas came along, I knew that I would share with family and friends as they have shared with me over the years. I fell in love with one of the Holiday cards that allows the use of up to 9 photos and gives lots of space for a message. I have used that photo card for the boy’s last two Birthday invitations and I plan to do the same this year. What I love most about it is that I don’t have to settle on just one picture and I have had many recipients cut the message part off and keep the pictures as a keepsake. After the boy’s first Birthday party, Shutterfly was having a big sale on photo stationary so I took one of the pictures of both boys and used that for thank you cards.
The cards are great and convenient but I have to say my favorite Shutterfly products are the photo mugs. Last year I gave them as gifts to some grandparents and I had one made for myself. The boy’s love seeing their pictures on the mugs and it’s a nice memory that I get to share with them.
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. Bloggers get 50 free holiday cards from Shutterfly… sign up:http://bit.ly/sfly2010
Top Ten Lessons I want my Children to Learn:
1. They are unconditionally loved
2. There is a God who is there for them, they just need to be open to the idea
3. That no matter the path they choose there is someone who has walked that same path, they just need to find them
4. It is not enough to ask for help, you need to accept it too.
5. Don’t believe everything you think or hear
6. No one else can define you, there is no one with that kind of power, unless you give it to them
7. Crying will not make you less of a person, in fact it will allow you to access the person you always have been
8. All we have is today, right now, so live it
9. No one can permanently harm you without your permission (one of the hardest lessons for me to learn)
10. Learning acceptance, patience and tolerance of both others and yourselves, will bring more peace to your lives than you could imagine
This post is linked up over at Top Ten Tuesday!
I get many things forwarded to me, almost on a daily basis and I try to take a look at them. This video was forwarded to me this morning and I just had the chance to look at it. I was touched, inspired and I’ll admit it, I cried. I want more people in the world teaching our children these values. I want these to be our commercials, not what products are going to improve their live but how they have the ability to decide how to perceive their lives.
Take a minute to watch!
One of the ways I “encourage” the boys to cooperate when running errands is to make stops that are fun for them. One of those places is a farm/ice cream place nearby. They love feeding the animals and climbing on the tractor.
As I mentioned in a couple of recent posts, I love the fall. I also love taking pictures in the fall. Here are a couple of the boy’s hanging together. Over the last couple months they have been interacting more with each other and “playing” together more.
This post is linked up at Wordful Wednesday….
A couple of blogs that I follow that have recently brought up the issues regarding bulling and harassment around the gay issue in schools. There have been four known suicides of boy’s in the last month who struggled with this first hand. Lesbian Dad talked about it openly this morning, referring to the responsibility of not only the schools and administration to put a stop to it but for the gay community to share with these youth that things do get better. I normally am not emotionally drawn into these issues but being a lesbian who has two boys that someday will have to face these issues either from having a Mom who is gay or their own individual journey, it breaks my heart.
In these moments, I would like to put my boy’s in a bubble not exposing them to the heartaches of this world. Yet I know that my job is not to shelter them but to educate them about acceptance and tolerance. Teach them that there are adults in their world besides me that they can trust and who love them exactly as they are. However, mostly how to love and accept themselves, a journey that many of are still traveling into adulthood.
I wish there was an easy answer. I wish my children could stay innocent and unscathed. My hope is that 10 years from now when they are entering adolescence the level of acceptance and tolerance will have grown. Moreover, if not my hope is that they will have a strong foundation and a unshakeable sense of self. I know big dreams!
